“Victory is in my veins”
“You own it, you better Never let it go”
“Success is my only option, Failure’s not”
“I will Rise”
“I’m unstoppable today”
I’ve been racing for more than 20 years. Even placed or won a few back in the day.
Only about a few races into my career as an athlete, I decided I would never train to win. Somehow the disappointment was too much for me.
Probably more to the point, confidence in me was completely uncharacteristic.
It’s a difficult thing to explain, and I wonder if it’s a common feeling… of being Unworthy. Unworthy– or Not-Worthy–seems like an odd word to use, but it’s the one I come up with. Do you feel it? It’s a person-hood issue, maybe. Like, it’s just who I am. Do you feel it? Pondering being on top, or best in the game is just literally a joke. Can you feel that? Don’t even try, because even if you did succeed, it is still not yours. Can you feel that?
Last Summer, the last voice I heard was “You ARE worthy!” And I choose to believe it. Ever since then, my world has opened wide.
God did not give me a spirit of fear! He gave me a spirit of LOVE, POWER and a SOUND MIND. Why? To carry out exactly what He has prepared and gifted me for! That’s the voice that sings in my head. I can feel that!
I want to win. I want to win! It hurts how much I want to win. It’s difficult to explain, and wonder if it’s a common feeling… I want to prove that I am worthy. It’s not the right word, probably, but that’s what comes to mind.
All the years of undervaluing my worth.
All the years of treating God’s gifts so cavalierly.
All the years of playing the victim.
All the years of feeling helpless.
I want to make up for all those ,and prove that this body and mind Can and Will Work for it! Plan for it! Expect it! Never sell herself short! I am Worthy! I am Born FOR THIS!
That’s what I want to say.