The thing is, I’m in a lot of pain.

I’m reading about aging athletes, athletes at the top of their game in their fifth decade and beyond, and I haven’t seen a lot of pain. They are competing in events like The World Senior Games and winning, training hard; faster, stronger, more powerful than most people half their age, but I’m not reading a lot about waking up and living with pain.

So, I’m wondering if it’s just not going to happen for me. Maybe I’m just one of the billions of people who will never get to live up to her dreams. Maybe my time came and went and I squandered those years not trying. Maybe it’s time to accept average, or below average. Maybe this life that I so carelessly arranged for myself, is where I’ll end up: “You made your bed, now sleep in it.” So, seriously, realistically, I should surrender.

But I have this very positive relationship with the written word. I have inked in my arm “Relentless Forward Progress.” It is there for a reason. I composed in a previous blog that even if I never podium in a Spartan Sprint Masters Division, working toward the goal is what gets me up in the morning. There is a reason for publishing. I have printed, in large font, my “Big 5”, and one of them is to train to win races. It is posted on my wall strategically.

Conceding will kill me. The thought of giving up, not training hard and heavy to place in races, cuts my heart to the core. The thought of erasing my BHAG so I can just “Just be happy” drains my spirit.

This is why I am such a believer in setting goals. Sure, they should be measured in time. I know, as I age, I’ll adjust accordingly. But I must try. I may die never reaching my goals, but it’s a gamble I have to take.

That BHAG, that thing that you’ve dreamed of: Winning. Weight loss. Health. Career. Artistic Expression. Whatever it is, maybe you’re like me. But let’s do this together.

“For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.” 2 Tim 1:7

final tatoo

*BHAG – Big Hairy Audacious Goal

One thought on “Conceding

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